Canticles of the Unhomed
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Watching CNN Was My First Mistake
Watching CNN was definately my first mistake.
So I was flipping around the channels last night after a particularly good conversation, feeling pretty good about myself, the world, and my place in it, and I came across Pastors Joel and Victoria Osteen of Lakewood Church, in Houston Texas, being interviewed on CNN. Total buzz kill.
I think I may of watched it for five minutes before I was forced to either change the channel or start yelling, throw the remote at the TV, and then throw the TV against the wall. I didn't want to do that, since Mack and I have plans to use that TV for the House Entertainment System. So, I changed the channel.
Let me just begin this rant by saying that I am sure that the Osteens are genuine Christians that love God and only want to do his work, and are accomplishing their calling the best way that they know how. I am confident that God is in their church, and that salvation can be found in their teaching, and that lives are being changed by their ministry that they are making a difference for the good in Houston. Also, I have never been to their church, talked to the Osteens, nor anyone from their church. I have visited their website, read some of their matierals, but that's it. Whew.
That being said, I wanted to track Joel down and kick the shit out of him. So I guess this church just bought an old arena and 15 months and 75 MILLION DOLLARS later, it opened on Sunday. This church, according to CNN, is the first church in the US to average over 30,000 attenders a week. I watched the interview, and it showed video from their opening service; I guess there were 57,000 people there. I really hope i got that figure wrong. I really, really do. It looked more like some surreal cross twixt a Kenny G concert and the main stage at the National Republican Convention. This thing used to be a SPORTS ARENA; there were banks of seats, people so far away from the stage that they were just an indistinct blur of people. The CNN video was replete with close ups of ecstatic, closed eyed, singing faces as they worshipped. Classy. In the middle of this stage was a giant, golden, revolving globe, complete with a choir loft the size of several middle-class houses and an orchestra pit. There's a blurb on CNN.com about the event. Check it here.
As I watched this I got this sinking feeling in my stomach and this tinny, biley taste in the back of my mouth. When the CNN cameras focused on the sunny, smiling faces of Joel and Victoria, I should have known that I should have just changed the channel, and turned my thoughts to the wonderous four hours I had just spent. But no, oh no! I had to listen to them talk. Mistake number two.
The CNN interviewer challenged them on the validity of spending almost 90 MILLION dollars on a building, when so many people in Houston had no medical insurance, food, clothing, etc, etc. Yes! I thought. Yes! Leave it to the secular, liberal media to nail these guys! As the question was asked I could see the carefully crafted smile slowly drift off of Victoria's face as her pretty boy Joel leapt in. He talked about God blessing them to grow, that they could be positioned so much better to grow in their new building, and that the money needed to be spent. Victoria chimed in, saying that they believed in a positive God, and that they believed in a God that wanted to make people's lives better. They talked about WANTING to open schools and hospitals. They didn't go into details about those plans, however. The rest of the interview that I watched was lost in a red haze of anger.
Ugh. I can't keep this up. Just go out and buy Joel's book, okay? It's called "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living Your Full Potential." 'Nuff said.
So I was flipping around the channels last night after a particularly good conversation, feeling pretty good about myself, the world, and my place in it, and I came across Pastors Joel and Victoria Osteen of Lakewood Church, in Houston Texas, being interviewed on CNN. Total buzz kill.
I think I may of watched it for five minutes before I was forced to either change the channel or start yelling, throw the remote at the TV, and then throw the TV against the wall. I didn't want to do that, since Mack and I have plans to use that TV for the House Entertainment System. So, I changed the channel.
Let me just begin this rant by saying that I am sure that the Osteens are genuine Christians that love God and only want to do his work, and are accomplishing their calling the best way that they know how. I am confident that God is in their church, and that salvation can be found in their teaching, and that lives are being changed by their ministry that they are making a difference for the good in Houston. Also, I have never been to their church, talked to the Osteens, nor anyone from their church. I have visited their website, read some of their matierals, but that's it. Whew.
That being said, I wanted to track Joel down and kick the shit out of him. So I guess this church just bought an old arena and 15 months and 75 MILLION DOLLARS later, it opened on Sunday. This church, according to CNN, is the first church in the US to average over 30,000 attenders a week. I watched the interview, and it showed video from their opening service; I guess there were 57,000 people there. I really hope i got that figure wrong. I really, really do. It looked more like some surreal cross twixt a Kenny G concert and the main stage at the National Republican Convention. This thing used to be a SPORTS ARENA; there were banks of seats, people so far away from the stage that they were just an indistinct blur of people. The CNN video was replete with close ups of ecstatic, closed eyed, singing faces as they worshipped. Classy. In the middle of this stage was a giant, golden, revolving globe, complete with a choir loft the size of several middle-class houses and an orchestra pit. There's a blurb on CNN.com about the event. Check it here.
As I watched this I got this sinking feeling in my stomach and this tinny, biley taste in the back of my mouth. When the CNN cameras focused on the sunny, smiling faces of Joel and Victoria, I should have known that I should have just changed the channel, and turned my thoughts to the wonderous four hours I had just spent. But no, oh no! I had to listen to them talk. Mistake number two.
The CNN interviewer challenged them on the validity of spending almost 90 MILLION dollars on a building, when so many people in Houston had no medical insurance, food, clothing, etc, etc. Yes! I thought. Yes! Leave it to the secular, liberal media to nail these guys! As the question was asked I could see the carefully crafted smile slowly drift off of Victoria's face as her pretty boy Joel leapt in. He talked about God blessing them to grow, that they could be positioned so much better to grow in their new building, and that the money needed to be spent. Victoria chimed in, saying that they believed in a positive God, and that they believed in a God that wanted to make people's lives better. They talked about WANTING to open schools and hospitals. They didn't go into details about those plans, however. The rest of the interview that I watched was lost in a red haze of anger.
Ugh. I can't keep this up. Just go out and buy Joel's book, okay? It's called "Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living Your Full Potential." 'Nuff said.
:: written by Matt Thompson, 4:51 PM
3 Comments:
K dude, You mentioned Kenny G, which in itself is enough to propel bilee directly to my mounth. (Or however all that stuff works) That guy is the lamest excuse for a no-talent bum-hat "jazz musician". I commend you on your use of simile.
Also, I question why you haven't bought us the rexall stadium thingo for The House. I mean, what kind of pastor tries to minister to his people anyways, when he can create a pop-christian icon/legend/legacy? I certainly think we deserve better that to have our measly personal lives influenced when we could be on big screen TV!!! I hereby quit The House, and I am moving to Houston ASAP. Oh and in case you didn't NOOOTICE, I was being SARCASTIC!
So yes, another sadly insane outpouring from the inner depths of my "brain" type thingo that some people use. I need to go pray now.
Also, I question why you haven't bought us the rexall stadium thingo for The House. I mean, what kind of pastor tries to minister to his people anyways, when he can create a pop-christian icon/legend/legacy? I certainly think we deserve better that to have our measly personal lives influenced when we could be on big screen TV!!! I hereby quit The House, and I am moving to Houston ASAP. Oh and in case you didn't NOOOTICE, I was being SARCASTIC!
So yes, another sadly insane outpouring from the inner depths of my "brain" type thingo that some people use. I need to go pray now.
we share your pain
For the record, our sanctuary holds 16,000 seats not 57,000.
If you had seen the facility that we were in previously, holding 8,000 and bursting at the seams every weekend so much so that we had to have four weekend English services, you would understand the move.
Yes the facility is costing an estimated 75 Million dollars for renovations. Besides providing jobs, Lakewood does so much more.
Yes healthcare is an issue, but why doesn't anyone say anything about a basketball playing spending 5 Million dollars on a house just for himself. You are harping on a minister who no longer accepts a salary from his church.
While bashing this minister, did you happen to research the thousands of Lakewood volunteers who went to the Astrodome daily to assist in whatever capacity we could? Did you happen to research the millions of dollars we poured into the relief effort? Did you look into the fact that our former facility was used as a Katrina shelter? Or are you just focused on the fact that 75Million dollars was spent to renovate a church that draws in the unchurched by the masses and giving them a little more hope than they had before?
If we can spend millions of taxpayers money on SPORTS games, what is the problem is a church wants to spend millions of its own money [and money of those who willingly pledge] to affect change in its city and the lives of others.
Pick on those ministers who drive their bentleys, and have their helicopters, and don't pay taxes on their million dollar homes that they claim as church parishes [none of which are done by Joel].
If you had seen the facility that we were in previously, holding 8,000 and bursting at the seams every weekend so much so that we had to have four weekend English services, you would understand the move.
Yes the facility is costing an estimated 75 Million dollars for renovations. Besides providing jobs, Lakewood does so much more.
Yes healthcare is an issue, but why doesn't anyone say anything about a basketball playing spending 5 Million dollars on a house just for himself. You are harping on a minister who no longer accepts a salary from his church.
While bashing this minister, did you happen to research the thousands of Lakewood volunteers who went to the Astrodome daily to assist in whatever capacity we could? Did you happen to research the millions of dollars we poured into the relief effort? Did you look into the fact that our former facility was used as a Katrina shelter? Or are you just focused on the fact that 75Million dollars was spent to renovate a church that draws in the unchurched by the masses and giving them a little more hope than they had before?
If we can spend millions of taxpayers money on SPORTS games, what is the problem is a church wants to spend millions of its own money [and money of those who willingly pledge] to affect change in its city and the lives of others.
Pick on those ministers who drive their bentleys, and have their helicopters, and don't pay taxes on their million dollar homes that they claim as church parishes [none of which are done by Joel].
