Canticles of the Unhomed
Monday, August 01, 2005
Houseness... Just Not the Sweet Kind
It was NOT a good night.
I was considering not posting about this, but if this blog is to be a record or voice or whatever tired metaphor you'd like to attach to it, then I thought I needed to tell the bad stories along with the good.
I was out of town for much of the weekend, but I was able to show up at the House late on Sunday to partake of the later House festivities.
On one hand, I wished I hadn't. On the other hand, I was glad I did.
By the time I arrived, it was a subdued gathering - we were enjoying eachother's company, but I could sense an almost palpable tension. I was intercepted by Jeff and Charity coming into the building, and they filled me in with the story.
It seems that one of our members with a mental illness had a major meltdown on the way to the gathering, and it spilled over into the gathering. In the cramped confines of Chuck's apartment there is nowhere to go for privacy, and thus the meltdown was public and messy.
Chuck stepped into the situation and dealt with it. He and the member went outside and talked through it. An hour and half later, Chuck was spent - literally. However, a few of those there took care of their pastor and supplied him with much appreciated cold Keiths.
With Chuck emptied, it fell to Mack. I think by that time Mack was already spent, hurt, and not desirous of any further contact with said member. But, being the kind of guy he is, he stepped in and dealt with it. He didn't sweep it under the carpet, but rather spoke honestly and authentically with the member.
By the time I arrived all this was over and I got to see the aftermath. The result was a community strained to the breaking point, full of hurt, questioning people. They didn't know how to react, or what to do.
Derek and Rachel showed up just as I did with the intention of instigating a poker game. Since I am rarely against this, I was excited to play. After some discussion, mostly centering around the swelteringly hot nature of the apartment we decided to go somewhere else to play.
We ended up in a pub a couple of blocks away. Mistake. BIG mistake. I guess its illegal to play poker in a bar (though we have done it before) and the staff at the bar handled the situation in pretty much the worst way you can imagine, including swearing at us. Such a situation resulted in a first for me. I walked away from an untouched pint of beer, leaving it paid for but undrunk. (Is that a word?) But, there are worse things in life than not drinking the beer set before you. Not many, but this was one of them. So we left there, and ended up at Jeff's place to play poker for the rest of the night.
There is a dream that is the House. It is a fragile thing, and this weekend, that dream was tested. I am glad to say that through this trial, the House showed our quality.
First, I think Chuck handled the situation with the meltdown incredibly well. He showed love, but also conviction. He placed the member's needs before his own, supplanted his needs for a peaceful gathering and dealt with the situation at hand. He responded to the member while simultaneously preserving the member's dignity, and contributing to the member's spiritual formation. I think he showed a true pastor's heart, and I have never been more proud of him, nor more sure that I am involved in this with the right person.
Second, the way the community surrounded Chuck, Mack and the member and showed support through pain and confusion, speaks volumes to the kind of community that God has built among us. There was no discussion of propriety, decorum or appropriateness. Charity, Amanda, Erika, Jeff, etc just jumped into the fray, and took care of their needs. It was instanteous and unasked. Just as it should be. That night we took care of our own.
Finally, the seriousness with which we took the situation shows maturity and committment that sometimes takes years to build.
This is Houseness. Not the shiny happy kind that we all like. But this is gritty, dirty and painful. But is just as formative. This weekend we have shown that we can come through it supporting eachother, leaning on eachother and though bruised and beaten up, looking a little bit more like our Master, as my friend Collynda once told me.
This was a good trial - there are more coming - especially once we move into our own building. But, what I have seen this weekend tells me that we stand in good stead. God is at work among us, and our relationships are in a good place. It will be hard, just as this weekend was hard. We will continue to lean on eachother, and there will be disappointment and hurt, but I KNOW we can do it.
I was SO proud of all you guys this weekend. Good work.
I was considering not posting about this, but if this blog is to be a record or voice or whatever tired metaphor you'd like to attach to it, then I thought I needed to tell the bad stories along with the good.
I was out of town for much of the weekend, but I was able to show up at the House late on Sunday to partake of the later House festivities.
On one hand, I wished I hadn't. On the other hand, I was glad I did.
By the time I arrived, it was a subdued gathering - we were enjoying eachother's company, but I could sense an almost palpable tension. I was intercepted by Jeff and Charity coming into the building, and they filled me in with the story.
It seems that one of our members with a mental illness had a major meltdown on the way to the gathering, and it spilled over into the gathering. In the cramped confines of Chuck's apartment there is nowhere to go for privacy, and thus the meltdown was public and messy.
Chuck stepped into the situation and dealt with it. He and the member went outside and talked through it. An hour and half later, Chuck was spent - literally. However, a few of those there took care of their pastor and supplied him with much appreciated cold Keiths.
With Chuck emptied, it fell to Mack. I think by that time Mack was already spent, hurt, and not desirous of any further contact with said member. But, being the kind of guy he is, he stepped in and dealt with it. He didn't sweep it under the carpet, but rather spoke honestly and authentically with the member.
By the time I arrived all this was over and I got to see the aftermath. The result was a community strained to the breaking point, full of hurt, questioning people. They didn't know how to react, or what to do.
Derek and Rachel showed up just as I did with the intention of instigating a poker game. Since I am rarely against this, I was excited to play. After some discussion, mostly centering around the swelteringly hot nature of the apartment we decided to go somewhere else to play.
We ended up in a pub a couple of blocks away. Mistake. BIG mistake. I guess its illegal to play poker in a bar (though we have done it before) and the staff at the bar handled the situation in pretty much the worst way you can imagine, including swearing at us. Such a situation resulted in a first for me. I walked away from an untouched pint of beer, leaving it paid for but undrunk. (Is that a word?) But, there are worse things in life than not drinking the beer set before you. Not many, but this was one of them. So we left there, and ended up at Jeff's place to play poker for the rest of the night.
There is a dream that is the House. It is a fragile thing, and this weekend, that dream was tested. I am glad to say that through this trial, the House showed our quality.
First, I think Chuck handled the situation with the meltdown incredibly well. He showed love, but also conviction. He placed the member's needs before his own, supplanted his needs for a peaceful gathering and dealt with the situation at hand. He responded to the member while simultaneously preserving the member's dignity, and contributing to the member's spiritual formation. I think he showed a true pastor's heart, and I have never been more proud of him, nor more sure that I am involved in this with the right person.
Second, the way the community surrounded Chuck, Mack and the member and showed support through pain and confusion, speaks volumes to the kind of community that God has built among us. There was no discussion of propriety, decorum or appropriateness. Charity, Amanda, Erika, Jeff, etc just jumped into the fray, and took care of their needs. It was instanteous and unasked. Just as it should be. That night we took care of our own.
Finally, the seriousness with which we took the situation shows maturity and committment that sometimes takes years to build.
This is Houseness. Not the shiny happy kind that we all like. But this is gritty, dirty and painful. But is just as formative. This weekend we have shown that we can come through it supporting eachother, leaning on eachother and though bruised and beaten up, looking a little bit more like our Master, as my friend Collynda once told me.
This was a good trial - there are more coming - especially once we move into our own building. But, what I have seen this weekend tells me that we stand in good stead. God is at work among us, and our relationships are in a good place. It will be hard, just as this weekend was hard. We will continue to lean on eachother, and there will be disappointment and hurt, but I KNOW we can do it.
I was SO proud of all you guys this weekend. Good work.
:: written by Matt Thompson, 5:55 PM
4 Comments:
Thanks Matt...and I think I'm over wanting to punch you...tee hee.
Incidentally, being the stubborn (read : bull-headed) type, I researched and found that playing poker is legal in a bar under all three levels of governmental legislation provided that money is not involved.
My apologies for not letting things go yesterday or today.
My apologies for not letting things go yesterday or today.
Wait, so I shouldn't have toilet papered the waitress' car, left doggie doo on her front doorstep and called CSIS to hint that she was an Aranian spy? Oh man is my face red!
I would be as bold as to venture that it is times like these that you truly become a missional church. Anyone can have "community" when the times are good. But when the true challenges of human nature and interpersonal relationships arise, then true community has a chance to be exhibited. (Not to devalue the good times, you need them to get through the tough times). When a group can go through pain and grow because of it, that's when the redemptive mission of the church really happens.
I'm glad to see God is blessing you with the opportunity to really depend on Him to create a true Christian community in your midst.
I'm also glad to see you striving to be faithful to His calling to engage in that process.
I'm glad to see God is blessing you with the opportunity to really depend on Him to create a true Christian community in your midst.
I'm also glad to see you striving to be faithful to His calling to engage in that process.
