Canticles of the Unhomed
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Limping
Be sure to read the article below.
I have been giving a lot of thought lately to what kind of a leader I am. I have garnered some attention for helping build the House. I fit the profile (I guess) of the emergent leader. I come from a background of traditional leadership models. I am steeped in theology and leadership training. I am good at the "church" thing. Perhaps the only thing that is missing if for Chuck and I to write a book about the House for Emergent YS. Perhaps I could be the next Paggitt, or McLaren.
Bull-shyte.
Anyone who has been around me the past month or so knows the truth. I have been hamstrung. Disqualified. I was asked today, "Are you here?" Meaning, am I present, is my head and my heart and my soul here in this community? No, it is not. It is 3000 miles away.
What is left to me? To figure some way to fix me? To find some corrective to get me feeling happy and cheerful again?
Shyte, I don't even know if I WANT to be corrected.
Maybe i can step back from leadership. Maybe if I step down from the pastorate of the House, the pressure would be off, and I can get back to normal.
Unlikely.
I have been CALLED. The truth of that calling has never wavered. These people own me. They may have gotten a lemon, but they still own me. I may leave, but that calling remains intact. I am a leader. God called me to lead, and so I will lead, and suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who is thinking of entering leadership: if you can, DON'T. If you must lead, lead, but if you can live without it, run, don't walk, the other way. A leader can no more step down from being a leader than I can stop being a human.
So, can't be fixed, can't step down. I guess what is left to me is to figure out how to lead from weakness. If I can figure that out, perhaps there's a book in that -- too bad I won't figure it out until ten minutes AFTER I've gone tits-up.
PS: My book, Ronin's Honour, is now for sale. There's a link here (the "BUY MY BOOK" button) to buy it, or you can google the title. Please buy many, many, many, copies. :)
I have been giving a lot of thought lately to what kind of a leader I am. I have garnered some attention for helping build the House. I fit the profile (I guess) of the emergent leader. I come from a background of traditional leadership models. I am steeped in theology and leadership training. I am good at the "church" thing. Perhaps the only thing that is missing if for Chuck and I to write a book about the House for Emergent YS. Perhaps I could be the next Paggitt, or McLaren.
Bull-shyte.
Anyone who has been around me the past month or so knows the truth. I have been hamstrung. Disqualified. I was asked today, "Are you here?" Meaning, am I present, is my head and my heart and my soul here in this community? No, it is not. It is 3000 miles away.
What is left to me? To figure some way to fix me? To find some corrective to get me feeling happy and cheerful again?
Shyte, I don't even know if I WANT to be corrected.
Maybe i can step back from leadership. Maybe if I step down from the pastorate of the House, the pressure would be off, and I can get back to normal.
Unlikely.
I have been CALLED. The truth of that calling has never wavered. These people own me. They may have gotten a lemon, but they still own me. I may leave, but that calling remains intact. I am a leader. God called me to lead, and so I will lead, and suffer the consequences. Anyone out there who is thinking of entering leadership: if you can, DON'T. If you must lead, lead, but if you can live without it, run, don't walk, the other way. A leader can no more step down from being a leader than I can stop being a human.
So, can't be fixed, can't step down. I guess what is left to me is to figure out how to lead from weakness. If I can figure that out, perhaps there's a book in that -- too bad I won't figure it out until ten minutes AFTER I've gone tits-up.
PS: My book, Ronin's Honour, is now for sale. There's a link here (the "BUY MY BOOK" button) to buy it, or you can google the title. Please buy many, many, many, copies. :)
:: written by Matt Thompson, 11:06 PM
4 Comments:
Mattie- you have found the key. weakness is where it is at!!! And feeling frustrated can lead to God using youin amazing ways. but you have to listen to Him and stay humble... great quote-"you must let go of the life you have planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you". hugs, Kimmy ohhhh - and hi Brian- how's you and the family?
Or maybe you'll just become a reever after seeing the deep, dark, black, nothingness that is leadership. I give it a 50/50 shot.
A mentor of mine once said. "There is nothing in this world that is more painful or difficult than leading people. It's really really tough gut wrenching work. But I have found that there is nothing more exciting and rewarding than leading people and seeing positive change in their lives. Being a leader is the highest possible calling."
My personal experience has certainly borne that out. At least the part about the pain and the really tough work.
The only way I have found to survive is not not try and lead alone. Lead as part of a team, whether that team is formally or informally constituted.
My personal experience has certainly borne that out. At least the part about the pain and the really tough work.
The only way I have found to survive is not not try and lead alone. Lead as part of a team, whether that team is formally or informally constituted.
BTW, I don't see any buy my book link.
