Canticles of the Unhomed
Thursday, April 28, 2005
The Dreamscape in Its Persistence Prosecutes Its Ethereality Upon Me
Listening to a strange combination of Jack Johnson, Xavier Rudd and the Spin Doctors. Cannot attest to my mental state.
Had a strange dream about my mother last night. She was looking for me, and even though I was in the same room as her, she walked by me. Then I left, and when I woke up, I felt a certain amount of relief; whether was because she didn't find me, or she didn't appear to want to find me, or just that I was awake, I don't know. But there you go. I think this is the first time that I remember ever dreaming about my mom.
Had some small controversy about communion at the House on Sunday. It has been making me think. What role does a non Christian (if that term even means anything) play in communion? The classical evangelical protestant response is that the non Christian cannot partake, but only observe, since it is a fundamental rite by which we (Christians - man I love these DEMARKATIONS and deliniations) identify with Christ, his sufferings, death and resurrection. How can a person proclaim the Lord's death if he/she/it does not believe in Christ? How can a nonChristian "judge the body" appropriately, and thereby avoid "eating drinking condemnation?"
I have to admit it is not sitting well with me. The more I think about it, and the more I read about it, the more I don't like it. To me, it seems that the Lord's Table is at its best when it is inclusive rather than exclusive. In the much disputed passage in 1 Corinthians 11 Paul doesn't seem to be making deliniations twixt Christian and otherwise. It seems only reasonable that there were nonChristians at the church in Corinth. (if nothing else, their behavior should suggest that.) Paul's language is inclusive, in that he seems to be addressing the entire church body, not a certain group, beyond singling out those that didn't wait for the poor.
It seems to me that the Lord's Table represents the UNITY of the community, and the community is bound to include those that would be classically defined at nonChristians. It seems to me that Paul is addressing the fact of the divisions in the community at Corinth, and that by the virtue of those divisions, made evident in the rich not waiting for the poor, and that it is those divisions that are profaning the table, not the spiritual "state" of the participants.
It seems to me that the centre of the community is Christ, and that any that come to the community understands this, and becomes part of the community sometimes because of this, and sometimes in spite of this. Some come because they share an intrinsic bond of spiritual brother/sisterhood inherent in their shared spiritual heritage. Some come because they wish to better understand or experience this spiritual heritage. Some come because they desire acceptance and the relationships and friendships inherent in community. I cannot, nor should I, judge the validity of any person's reasons for coming to the community. But, I think that if the understanding is clear that the center of the community is Christ, and that a nonChristian comes that they will be exposed to this type of thing, and that they are as much a part of the community as anyone that calls Christ Lord, or subscribes to any of the modernist labels of christianity. That would seem to suggest to me that they have a part to play in the "proclaiming of the Lord's death until he comes again" stuff as much as I, since in terms of community, they are equal members to me.
So to exclude them from the Table seems ludicrious. And yet.
And yet, it is a difficult thing to throw away 2000 years of practise. A difficult, and dangerous thing. Should we not respect the historical momentum of this? Perhaps we, the Emergent, throw away too much of the baby with the bath water.
Got all the paperwork done and away to register the House as a religious society. Now, all we have to do is wait for the government to kick our asses...
Had a strange dream about my mother last night. She was looking for me, and even though I was in the same room as her, she walked by me. Then I left, and when I woke up, I felt a certain amount of relief; whether was because she didn't find me, or she didn't appear to want to find me, or just that I was awake, I don't know. But there you go. I think this is the first time that I remember ever dreaming about my mom.
Had some small controversy about communion at the House on Sunday. It has been making me think. What role does a non Christian (if that term even means anything) play in communion? The classical evangelical protestant response is that the non Christian cannot partake, but only observe, since it is a fundamental rite by which we (Christians - man I love these DEMARKATIONS and deliniations) identify with Christ, his sufferings, death and resurrection. How can a person proclaim the Lord's death if he/she/it does not believe in Christ? How can a nonChristian "judge the body" appropriately, and thereby avoid "eating drinking condemnation?"
I have to admit it is not sitting well with me. The more I think about it, and the more I read about it, the more I don't like it. To me, it seems that the Lord's Table is at its best when it is inclusive rather than exclusive. In the much disputed passage in 1 Corinthians 11 Paul doesn't seem to be making deliniations twixt Christian and otherwise. It seems only reasonable that there were nonChristians at the church in Corinth. (if nothing else, their behavior should suggest that.) Paul's language is inclusive, in that he seems to be addressing the entire church body, not a certain group, beyond singling out those that didn't wait for the poor.
It seems to me that the Lord's Table represents the UNITY of the community, and the community is bound to include those that would be classically defined at nonChristians. It seems to me that Paul is addressing the fact of the divisions in the community at Corinth, and that by the virtue of those divisions, made evident in the rich not waiting for the poor, and that it is those divisions that are profaning the table, not the spiritual "state" of the participants.
It seems to me that the centre of the community is Christ, and that any that come to the community understands this, and becomes part of the community sometimes because of this, and sometimes in spite of this. Some come because they share an intrinsic bond of spiritual brother/sisterhood inherent in their shared spiritual heritage. Some come because they wish to better understand or experience this spiritual heritage. Some come because they desire acceptance and the relationships and friendships inherent in community. I cannot, nor should I, judge the validity of any person's reasons for coming to the community. But, I think that if the understanding is clear that the center of the community is Christ, and that a nonChristian comes that they will be exposed to this type of thing, and that they are as much a part of the community as anyone that calls Christ Lord, or subscribes to any of the modernist labels of christianity. That would seem to suggest to me that they have a part to play in the "proclaiming of the Lord's death until he comes again" stuff as much as I, since in terms of community, they are equal members to me.
So to exclude them from the Table seems ludicrious. And yet.
And yet, it is a difficult thing to throw away 2000 years of practise. A difficult, and dangerous thing. Should we not respect the historical momentum of this? Perhaps we, the Emergent, throw away too much of the baby with the bath water.
Got all the paperwork done and away to register the House as a religious society. Now, all we have to do is wait for the government to kick our asses...
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Community the Communist Commune Way
Actually, this post has nothing to do with Communism, Communes or the way of either. However, it does have to do with community... I just wanted to play with the words.
Some of you may notice the absence of the link to Ali's blog in my link section. She asked that I remove it, since too many people she knew were reading her blog. After long, and sometimes painful conversation about this, I can reassure everyone who is interested that Ali and Jeremy are doing just FINE, and while they appreciate your love and support, you can just feel free to leave them alone. Oy. Beyond the trouble this has caused, I find this whole situation very interesting from the perspective of living in community. If we are living in community, where is the line between public life and private life? When two people live in community with other people, at what point do we draw the line beyond which members of the community do not have the right to comment or even know about certain details? Are there details that community members, regardless of how close the relationship, should not be privy to? Of course, due to the nature of the House, and the type of community that we are trying to build, the answer to that question may be differnt from other churches. Nonetheless, the question stands. When you expose certain details of your life on a blog, which people in the community then read, does that then FORCE you to live out those details in the full view of the community? I don't know, and I am not referring to Ali here. (No scathing emails, please Ali.)
So I am writing a love story. No sci-fi, no fantasy, just a present day love story. My publisher has expressed some interest in it, so I feel justified in wasting effort on it. However, where I am in the story right now is proving extrememly difficult to write, since it is hitting far too close to home. Ostensibly, writing it is supposed to help me work through it, but so far I have been spared the cathartic effect.
Check out a new blog in my link section. It is the blog of Estelle Besserer, who just happens to be, in my opinion, the most beautiful person in Saskatchewan that is also married to my buddy Jayson. Her blog is actually quite good looking, so check it out.
Some of you may notice the absence of the link to Ali's blog in my link section. She asked that I remove it, since too many people she knew were reading her blog. After long, and sometimes painful conversation about this, I can reassure everyone who is interested that Ali and Jeremy are doing just FINE, and while they appreciate your love and support, you can just feel free to leave them alone. Oy. Beyond the trouble this has caused, I find this whole situation very interesting from the perspective of living in community. If we are living in community, where is the line between public life and private life? When two people live in community with other people, at what point do we draw the line beyond which members of the community do not have the right to comment or even know about certain details? Are there details that community members, regardless of how close the relationship, should not be privy to? Of course, due to the nature of the House, and the type of community that we are trying to build, the answer to that question may be differnt from other churches. Nonetheless, the question stands. When you expose certain details of your life on a blog, which people in the community then read, does that then FORCE you to live out those details in the full view of the community? I don't know, and I am not referring to Ali here. (No scathing emails, please Ali.)
So I am writing a love story. No sci-fi, no fantasy, just a present day love story. My publisher has expressed some interest in it, so I feel justified in wasting effort on it. However, where I am in the story right now is proving extrememly difficult to write, since it is hitting far too close to home. Ostensibly, writing it is supposed to help me work through it, but so far I have been spared the cathartic effect.
Check out a new blog in my link section. It is the blog of Estelle Besserer, who just happens to be, in my opinion, the most beautiful person in Saskatchewan that is also married to my buddy Jayson. Her blog is actually quite good looking, so check it out.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Big 3-0
So a week ago today I turned thirty. People always ask me, "Does it feel any different being thirty? How are you coping?" Honestly, I kinda miss the twenties, but then again, I also am glad they're gone. To me, my twenties was a time of trying to figure myself out, of setting the foundation, and planning for the future. I went to school, got some degrees, got a job, experienced major philosophical, social, and pracical paradigm shifts, lived, loved, and lost. In my twenties I worked jobs that paid me more than I ever have been paid, and I also lived on literally nothing. I have lived in an apartment with six other guys in a crowed downtown city center, and I have lived by myself in a shack in the woods with no heat but a wood stove that I had to cut wood for myself. I have kissed beautiful women, and I have given my heart away. I have established myself in a career for which I was amply trained for, and then walked away from it. I have seen a hobby turn into a living. I have seen things so terrible that they continue to frighten me when I am alone in the dark, and I have seen things so beautiful that my soul was not ready to behold it. In my twenties I have stood on roads that are as ancient as civilization itself, and sat in buildings that were old when Christ walked around Galilee. I have held a woman in my arms and loved her so much that my heart hurt, and I have felt the terrible ache when she was gone. I have been present as a new life came into the world, and I have held a man in my arms and looked in eyes as he died. I have prayed over someone and seen thier flesh restored. I have walked away from faith, and ran back. I have sworn at God, and blest his name. I have asked several questions, and received many answers. I have trusted, and I have been betrayed. I have been trusted, and I have betrayed. All this and more happened in my twenties. Which is a way of saying that I view it all as preparation. I guess I kind of look at it as if I now finally ready to begin. I have a much better sense of myself, and who I am and what I am here for, and I have a sense of what my next step needs to be and the type of life I want to live.
So the House threw me a birthday party. The best part was that it was a surprise. I love surprise parties. They, well, Amanda, had been planning it for more than a week, and I had no idea. The day of, Chuck and I get back to his place, in time for what I thought was going to be a regular Sunday service. I walk in, and I see a bunch of food layed out, and since we always have a meal together as part of our service, I thought that they had just put the food out early. I walk into the living room, and it is decorated with streames and such, and I think, "did they have a party here last night, like a shower for Martha and Jeremy or something?" so I say, "Chuck, what the hell is with the streamers?" At that point a crowd of people come rushing out of the bedroom yelling "surprise!" It was great. They totally got me. The place was full of my favorite people, and I felt totally loved. We did the party in lieu of our usual service, and I thought that was the most incredible part. All in all, it was the best birthday party I have ever had... except for maybe one some friends threw for me in Calgary that took place in a MacDonalds.
I'm not at the mid-life crisis point yet. Know what, maybe I'll just skip it.
So the House threw me a birthday party. The best part was that it was a surprise. I love surprise parties. They, well, Amanda, had been planning it for more than a week, and I had no idea. The day of, Chuck and I get back to his place, in time for what I thought was going to be a regular Sunday service. I walk in, and I see a bunch of food layed out, and since we always have a meal together as part of our service, I thought that they had just put the food out early. I walk into the living room, and it is decorated with streames and such, and I think, "did they have a party here last night, like a shower for Martha and Jeremy or something?" so I say, "Chuck, what the hell is with the streamers?" At that point a crowd of people come rushing out of the bedroom yelling "surprise!" It was great. They totally got me. The place was full of my favorite people, and I felt totally loved. We did the party in lieu of our usual service, and I thought that was the most incredible part. All in all, it was the best birthday party I have ever had... except for maybe one some friends threw for me in Calgary that took place in a MacDonalds.
I'm not at the mid-life crisis point yet. Know what, maybe I'll just skip it.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Return of the Mack, Baby
So I'm back. Blogger finally figured out what was wrong with my blog, and fixed it. They solved the problem on the first try, so props to Blogger.
Check out some new blogs in my links section. My buddy Chuck, who is the other Pastor of the House with me, now has a blog, along with his wife, Erika. Check them out. Also, my buddy Cortney's dog, Max, has a blog. I know, I know. Just check it out, okay? Do me a favor.
Galaga sweetness still reigns. We are beginning to separate the wheat from the chaff as far as Galaga players at the House is concerned. That game has caused much weeping and gnashing of teeth. And yet we still play it. Stunning. We wait for the return of the Son to the fray, and we regularly gather to lament the fickle affections of the Galaga godess. Honestly, its like a bad love affair; she abuses us, but we keep coming back, thinking that this time will be different.
We flounder in themidst of registering the House as a religious society in Alberta. We had to do a name/trademark search, and of course, it spitted back another church somewhere in Ontario that has already registered the name "The House," and trademarked it as well. We are told that if it wasn't a church, we could get away with it, but this is too close even for the sometimes dodgy copyright laws. So, we have officially changed the name of the church to "The House Community Evangelical Free Church." We figure that the chances of anyone else having that name in Canada is pretty slim. This way we can still informally use the name "The House," and officially refer to ourselves as the "House Community" and the Evangelical Free Church part of the name is both a nod to the denomination, and keeps the government happy.
Which reminds me. Paid my taxes recently. Most of my income last year came from my writing, from which tax is not automatically deducted. Having never dealt with that situation before, I didn't give it any thought. Then, when I did my taxes, after paying an accountant $278 to do my taxes, I am left having to PAY $7,400. Thankfully, I was able to pay it off, but it decimated my savings. $7400!! What the hell is that?!?!? What the hell could the government possibly do for me that would be worth $7400? I don't drive, so I don't need roads. I pay property taxes, so that pays for sewer and other services. I was telling this to a friend of mine, Uwe Stiles, who happens to be a constable for the Edmonton Police Service, and he said I could think of it as going to pay his salary. Makes sense, but my reply was, when was the last time I needed the police? To which he asks, "You ever been beaten half to death in your front yard?" My reply was, "No." he smiles and quips, "You're welcome." Funny. But still, $7400? Stinkin' worthless government. Feh!
I now have eight invitations to speaking engagements this summer. This my regular summer pattern. Should be fun. There's some camps, some retreats, and a conference. As well, I have been put on pulpit supply for the District. I really like the whole itinerant preaching thing. Gives me enormous freedom - I can go in, say what I want and get out, and leave the regular pastor to clean my mess! No, just kidding. But, this is a fickle business. If you start turning down invitations, you stop getting them, so its going to be a busy summer.
Been working on the love story. It is a story about a young pastor in a traditional church that falls in love with the non-christian woman that owns the coffeehouse that he spends alot of time in. The catch is that he never tells her that he is a pastor, because he's afriad that she will change the way she interacts with him if he tells her. Eventually, it just becomes comfortable, and for three years he doesn't tell her, until it comes out when she accidentally finds out that he's a pastor, and of course she feels betrayed, and hurt, and so on and so on. She leaves him, and he is left with trying to deal with learning to live without her. He starts to fall apart, and it affects his ministry, and so on. I am toying with the idea of getting them back together, since true love forgives, but I am also toying with them staying apart, he gets involved in a bad rebound affair, and it ultimately destroys him completely. I'm not sure. But, this is the first non-speculative fiction/science fiction piece I have ever done, so its kind of experimental.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Deluxe Galaga Sweetness
So I picked up an Amiga emulator for my laptop. My very first computer, and the computer I had all the way through college was an Amiga. I started with an old Amiga 1000, debuted in 1985, and then I upgraded for college with an Amiga 1200. The 1000 had a whopping 512K of ram and NO hard drive, and a processor running at 6.8 mHz. The 1200 was much more powerful; I had a huge 170 mb hard drive, and 16 megs of ram. It was great. In college I acquired this game called Deluxe Galaga. It was incredible. Left, right, shoot. Those were the controls. If you have ever played the original Galaga, you know what the game is like, but this game took it to previously unknown depths. The graphics were great, but simple, and the gameplay -- that was the kicker. Guys would camp out in my dorm for hours on end to play this game - we even formed a whole culture around this game; we would talk about whether the Galaga Goddess was smiling on you that day or not, and our conversation became peppered with terms from the game. I know, it was pretty geeky, but when you live in a Bible College dorm where TVs are outlawed, you don't need to have a job, and you would rather do anything than homework, a game like Deluxe Galaga becomes irresistable. Of course by the time I graduated to ABC and was living with JB and Jason, Playstation was king and then there was the Bushido Blade and Grand Turismo sweetness, but that is a different story. So with this emulator came, you guessed it... DELUXE GALAGA! OH. MY. GOD. The guys at the House are now fully addicted. Aw, yeah! The problem is that the nature of the game is competitive, Adam, Chuck, Jeff and I feel utterly compelled to compare scores. The hitch is that I bought the emulator on CD, and it runs off the CD, which means that it doesn't save the high scores. The installation of the emulator is incredibly complex, and is beyond my skillz. So anyway, the game totally takes me back, and it still retains its playability! It chugs it a little on my laptop but I think that has more to do with graphic modes than processor or ram, and the audio emulation is not the best, but it doesn't affect the play at all. Its great.
Anyway, in other news, we had a commissioning service at the House on Sunday. We formed three working groups - one to take care of the business of buying our building, another visoncasting group to work on and answer more philosophical questions, and the third is practical planning group focusing on practical concerns, like what our Sundays look like, how we incorporate music or art, how we keep people plugged in and involved, and so on. We took turns laying hands on each of the groups and praying for them, and specifically giving them authority to act for us and authority to dream in freedom, and so on. It was actually quite powerful. Then, Chuck and I did a footwashing. We individually washed the feet of every member, and annointed their feet with oil. It freaked some people out, but I think that it was mostly just having people touch their feet. Oddly, no one had ever experienced a footwashing before, and for everyone it was a new experience. We got through it with some joking and laughter, people were kind of uncomfortable with Chuck and I kneeling at their feet withe a basin of water, a towel, and some oil. As we washed each person's feet, we told them that we loved them. It was for Chuck and I a sign that we were pledging to serve these people. That we were submitting to the community, and that we felt that God had called us to this work, and the oil is an ancient symbol of the pouring out of God's blessing. I think everyone was affected. Then, Jeremy had everyone lay hands on Chuck and I and pray for us. It was beautiful. I think that there is something powerful in human touch. I was struck, as I ran water over each person's feet, at how intimately I was touching these people, and then as I cradled their foot in the soft towel and gently dried their feet, looked into their eyes, called them by name and told them that I loved them, I came away fundamentally changed. These are my people now. I belong to them. It was cool.
Anyway, in other news, we had a commissioning service at the House on Sunday. We formed three working groups - one to take care of the business of buying our building, another visoncasting group to work on and answer more philosophical questions, and the third is practical planning group focusing on practical concerns, like what our Sundays look like, how we incorporate music or art, how we keep people plugged in and involved, and so on. We took turns laying hands on each of the groups and praying for them, and specifically giving them authority to act for us and authority to dream in freedom, and so on. It was actually quite powerful. Then, Chuck and I did a footwashing. We individually washed the feet of every member, and annointed their feet with oil. It freaked some people out, but I think that it was mostly just having people touch their feet. Oddly, no one had ever experienced a footwashing before, and for everyone it was a new experience. We got through it with some joking and laughter, people were kind of uncomfortable with Chuck and I kneeling at their feet withe a basin of water, a towel, and some oil. As we washed each person's feet, we told them that we loved them. It was for Chuck and I a sign that we were pledging to serve these people. That we were submitting to the community, and that we felt that God had called us to this work, and the oil is an ancient symbol of the pouring out of God's blessing. I think everyone was affected. Then, Jeremy had everyone lay hands on Chuck and I and pray for us. It was beautiful. I think that there is something powerful in human touch. I was struck, as I ran water over each person's feet, at how intimately I was touching these people, and then as I cradled their foot in the soft towel and gently dried their feet, looked into their eyes, called them by name and told them that I loved them, I came away fundamentally changed. These are my people now. I belong to them. It was cool.
